Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Angry snow driving woman!

Tonight I had to drive Stephen to a party and let me just tell you, I am not a happy camper!  I hate I mean hate having to drive on the snowy roads.  Well, it's not the snow so much that I hate it's when I see ice and it's all shiny and my car is sliding as I accelerate and I get paranoid and scared, and when I get scared I get mad! 

I have been having axiety all day today ...which I hate and sometimes when I feel that anxioius, insecure feeling I get angry!  Is that weird?  I have been this way since I can remember.  When I get to feeling anxious or scared sometimes it makes me angry.  It makes me want to cry or fight and it makes me say bad words! Which I dont usually do outloud so dont tell my kids.  Anyway, then I find myself cussing out my husband for not doing the driving for me even though he is not there to hear me. 

Mike is not the rescue type of personality.  He's the "ah, you can do it yourself" type which I hate at times like these.  I just want him to do the tough stuff for drive Stephen to the party in the snow so I dont have to!!  Thanks to his Mom who does everything...I guess he thinks I should be just as tough, but you know what?  Sometimes I am not tough and I need to be babied! Okay?  I wonder what I would do if he did baby me....would I like it?  Or would it bug me?  I dont know.  All I know is that tonight I wanted him to baby me and drive in the snow for me so that I would not have had to drive in it all the way feeling like I was gonna get in a bad accident and die on my way home.  I told Stephen he better kiss me goodbye tonight when I dropped him off because it may be the last time I see him.  Angry! Angry!

Monday, December 27, 2010

Too many cheifs

The last couple of nights I have just wanted to stay up and enjoy the peace and quiet.  People have been cranky around here.  Do you ever notice that just by the way some people talk that it just brings you down?  That is what I have really noticed lately.  The older I get the more I just want to have quiet happy peace.  But everyone is always busy and anxious to get something done or be somewhere or do something and so the crankiness starts!  And I just get tired of it.  Everyone has their own agenda.  Maybe I just live among too many Cheifs and not enough Indians.  We also have a lot of stubborn people around here.  Mike and I are both pretty stubborn I have to admitt.  Plus the kids are home from school because of the christmas vacation so everyone is around a lot more.  I did a lot of returning and exchanging of Christmas gifts today. Now I am in the middle of cleaning and re-organizing my house.  I am gathering up all my christmas decorations little by little and packing them away.  Then I will tackle the basement and get us all organized so that when the house is finished and we finally move it isn't a big hastle.  So, I am not sure what I will be doing in a month from now.  My goal is to work on my food storage this year but I am also supposed to get my Mary Kay business up and running.  Not feeling so motivated these days.  So, we'll see how it goes.  Right now I am just gearing up for a New Year!  Yay!  I love New Years!  Love that "New" feeling that "New Start" opportunity.  So, for now I will just enjoy the week of having my kids home and try not to get too crazy with all the cheifs I live with around here.  Hope you all enjoy your week as well.
How many cheifs do you live with?

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Petey's Best Christmas Ever

Well, I thought I would share with you a story that I wrote many years ago for Michael when he was 8 years old.  He never liked to visit Santa and he no longer believed in him anyway. I made up this story in hopes of putting the magic as well as the true meaning of christmas into his little heart.  Hope you enjoy it as much as he did!

Petey’s Best Christmas Ever
     Once there was a little boy name Petey who lived with his mother and father in a little house. They didn’t have much. His Dad worked on a farm and his Mom ironed clothes for some of the nearby neighbors. It was Christmastime. Dad wasn’t working much these days and Mom was lucky to get any ironing jobs this time of year.
    So, Christmas wasn’t looking very good this year. But Petey was 8 years old now and it seemed that the last few years were like this not to mention the kids at school were now spreading the rumor that there really was no Santa Claus anyway. So, Christmas was more about the lights and the tree and the little nativity scene that sat in their living room each year

     Mom tried to be extra nice and loving with Petey he knew she felt so badly that they didn’t have much to give. Each night for the last week before Christmas the family would sit by the Christmas tree and tell Christmas stories about people who were much more unfortunate than they were. Still Petey would dream about Santa and that one gift that he knew he would never get, the superman action figure that all the boys at school seemed to have except him. But still Petey and his family loved each other and they enjoyed singing Christmas songs and reading stories. They were together and that’s all that mattered anyway.

     On Christmas eve this year after Petey had taken his bath and put on his PJ’s he went into the living room to dream by the big Christmas tree. He loved how the bright lights twinkled and he loved the many beautiful colors of Christmas. That night as he sat there and stared at the tree he fell asleep and he had a dream. He dreamed that he woke up to see a short, chubby little old man in a red suit and white beard coming out from behind his Christmas tree, busily doing something. So, Petey asked the little man,”are you Santa?” the little man turned to look at Petey and nodded as he quickly went back to work. Then Petey asked, “what are you doing”? Petey could see that he had something in his hands that sparkled and shined and he was sprinkling it on everything!”…“Oh, I am spreading the Christmas spirit”, said the cute little man.  Petey watched him as he sprinkled the “Christmas Spirit” all over the tree, all over the Christmas decorations and especially on the nativity set that sat on the table in the living room. Then Petey watched the little old man slowly bow his head and close his eyes and just stand there.  Petey thought it was very interesting how he just stood there like that in front of that nativity set that Mom always fussed over, for what seemed like forever.  Then suddenly Santa lifted his head, opened his eyes, and walked over to the family picture and there he sprinkled the rest of the dust. Petey continued to watch Santa as he quickly hurried over to the fireplace, and then he turned to look at Petey and with a wink he was gone! Petey rubbed his eyes and wondered what happened to the cute little man. Then Petey woke up.

     Petey ran into his parents bedroom as he could see the sun just starting to come up. He had a feeling of excitement and his heart skipped a beat as he exclaimed “It’s Christmas, wake up!” He ran into the living room with a big grin on his face and his parents followed behind him. Petey was so excited as he handed his parents some paper made gifts he had made at school and they smiled with pride at his hard work. Petey did get some much needed new socks and a clean white t-shirt that made his old ones look brown. The family hugged as they each expressed their love for each other. Petey felt warm inside and felt a special feeling unlike any other he had felt on Christmas in years past. Then Petey had a great idea, so he asked his Mom and Dad if he could gather up all of his old toys and clothes so that they could give it away to someone in need. His parents happily agreed and they agreed to go after breakfast. After quickly eating Petey went into his bedroom to change his clothes. As Petey took off his pj’s he noticed something very strange…some kind of sparkling, shining dust fell from them and he wondered…was it really a dream?

     Now Petey was even more excited as he hurried to find his old toys and gather his old clothes that he was anxious to give away. He put everything in a big bag and ran to meet his parents in the living room once again to leave for the shelter where the needy children lived. But as they went to walk out the door, something caught Petey’s eye ..there was one more gift sitting under the tree that he had not noticed before and it had his name on it. It said to: Petey from: Santa. The little boy ran over and picked up the gift and quickly opened it and his eyes opened wide with delight when he saw the superman action figure that he had only dreamed of getting. Petey hugged the toy and then gently placed it back under the tree. Then without hesitation, he and his parents left with the big bag of toys and clothes that Petey couldn’t wait to give away to the needy children.

As the family left for the shelter a long glow of “Christmas Spirit” trailed behind them. This was the best Christmas ever!
Merry Christmas!!

Friday, December 17, 2010

How deeply do you feel?

Okay, so this is just something that I've been thinking about a lot lately.  I am interested in getting some feed back from some of you abou it.  Since we can only feel what we individually feel then how can we really know?  What I am talking about is if some people feel things more deeply than others. It seems that in my lifetime I have been surrounded at times by people who feel things very deeply and then by others who do not feel things so intensely.  So, what is it?  Do people actually feel things more intensely  than others or are some people just more expressive or emotional?  What do you think?  I know when I compare myself to my husband I definately feel like when I feel things they are more intense than when he does.  However, I am a woman and he is a man and that in and of itself explains a lot.  But when it comes to people in some people actually feel things deeper than others? And why?  And what are we supposed to do about that?  Are we to learn to control those intense emotions or feelings or are we supposed to let them cause us to take action in our lives.  I know this may be just a weird thing to think about but, every once in a while I do think about this kind of thing.  Maybe it just depends on the situation.  Maybe some people feel more deeply about certain things.  But then there seem to be the kind of people who just feel deeply about everything.  Is it our experience that causes this to be so or are we just born this way? Maybe I am answering my own question.  Maybe there is just not one straight answer for this deep feeling thing.  I just wonder why it is I guess.  I guess it is a good thing that Mike doesnt feel as deeply about things as I do because he is often the voice of reason or the calm in the storm for me.  I think that is a good thing...right?
On the other hand, I wonder sometimes if I went with some of my intense feelings, would I have accomplished more in my personal life?  I have always kind of been a person who plays it safe, so maybe Mike helps me keep that "safe" place that deep down I want to stay in.  Okay, now I am getting too carried away with this subject.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Inspiration....Just follow it!

     So, this morning I woke up with an important thought and I went with it.  And then I realized that this was "inspiration".  As I thought on that I realized that I get it all the time.  And in fact, I think that the older I get the more clear or maybe the better able I am to recognize it when it comes.  In fact, I think that anytime we have good positive thoughts that require us to take action it is INSPIRATION.  Have you ever thought about that?  Well, maybe you have and I'm the only one who hasn't but, over the last year I have had so many thoughts such as this that I just had to share.  My friend did a post on what she will not do in 2011 and so this is a post on what I will do in 2011.  And that is. "I will make it a point to follow the inspiration I recieve".
It makes me wonder how many times the spirit has tried to tell me something and I just let it go in one ear and out the other.  I mean I have definately had times when I have had clear messages, but  It has taken me so many years to finally feel confident in recognizing that inspiration and so now I need to embrace it and follow it whenever I get it.  Plus, I always feel better when I do.  I honestly think that we as women get this kind of inspiration all the time.  I believe it is what we as women do best.  So, let's not let it go to waste!

Friday, December 10, 2010

Tale of the Three Trees

So, many years ago when Mike and I were just newly married and starting our family, my sister in law gave me 3 trees similar to these and along with it was the Tale of the Three Trees.(Go here to read a version of the story.)  I loved those 3 trees and have put them out every year in a group as one of our favorite christmas decorations.  Then when the kids were getting a little bigger and could sit and listen to stories, I started to read this story on Christmas eve.
We get the 3 trees out and sit on the floor with the story and we turn out all the lights and light candles all throughout the house.  Why?  Just because it makes it more fun and the kids love it. 
Anyway, this is just one of our Christmas traditons.  So, this year I could not find my Trees!  I think they must still be in California.  So, I went shopping for some more.  And I found these.  So, I decided that I would give a few of these trees to some others who are very special and just starting out their families this year.  And this is how I will package them.
Each tree is individually wrapped in tissue paper and then placed in this sack.  Along with a rolled up copy of the story of the Three Trees. I love gifts that help us remember the Savior!  I was excited to get these trees and I am so excited to give them!

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Each act of kindness

I always love listening to the Christmas devotional given by the First Presidency each year.  This year we didnt get a chance to watch it on Sunday so today I finally watched it for the first time thru the internet.  Every talk given by our first presidency was amazing! But one thing that President Eyring said really hit me this year.  He said "each act of kindness to anyone becomes a kindness to Him, because he loves all of his chilren..."

The thing that came to my mind is the love I have for my own children!  And whenever anyone does anything kind for my children it is like they are doing it to me.  I have felt this much in my life as I have watched others (friends as well as family) bless the lives of my children. This is especially true when it comes to our extended families, grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles.  Because we have not always lived near family, my children have not been able to spend a lot of time developing relationships with some of them.  Therefore, when any of them does or says something kind to my children it is as if they are showing me their love.  And I get it!  I get how much it must make our Father in Heaven so happy when we do for eachother...simply because we love him whose children they are.   I am especially grateful to our extended family who have helped us out with Michael's mission for several months this past year. 
They have been there for him when we could not. 
I can only imagine how our Heavenly Father feels when we help out our fellow brothers and sisters in his behalf. 
 This truly is what Christmas is all about!

Sunday, December 5, 2010

The Cookie Exchange

Had a great time at my sister's Cookie Exchange on Saturday!
Before we exchanged our cookies, Regina talked a bit about
Christmas Traditions and how important traditions are. 
 She then gave each of the girls the Christmas Traditions journals
that I made last week for her. 

 Then we exchanged our cookies and other goodies! 
Here are all the different assortment of cookies I came home with.
I was able to make up 12 of these yummy plates!

And then Regina and I each recieved one of these!
This has got to be one of the most beautiful Christmas decorations I have ever recieved!
This came from our friend Cricket who manages
Anastasia's Attic at Gardner Villiage.
It's mistletoe!  Thank you Cricket!  I absolutely love it!

It's hanging here in my entryway.
It will be fun to tease people about standing under the mistletoe this month!
It was a really fun day and I am excited to continue the Chirstmas Cookie exchange in future years!

Friday, December 3, 2010

Hope she doesnt mind

Well, now that we are living in Utah I am getting into the swing of all of the traditions that have been going on without me in years past here.  So, my sister Regina is having her annual Christmas Cookie exchange party at her home in West Jordan tomorrow morning.  So, today it is my job to make 12 dozen cookies to bring!  Can you belive that?  Well, after the first batch I just got bored so I invited my 3 year old nephew Reese, over to make the rest.  He got the hang of it right away, I think... sure hope she doesnt mind:)

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Defined By Christ

I am not much of a reader as I have stated before.  However, when I find books such as this I cant get enough.  This book was given to me, as a thank you gift, by my good friend Christin and another sister for speaking in her ward in Ogden last month.  It is a fantastic book!  At least I think so.  This book is written for those who struggle with feeling their divine worth!  It is filled with examples, experiences and doctrine about who we are as children or our Heavenly Father, that helps the reader to really truly get their worth!
I personally have struggled with this issue much in my lifetime..I have come to understand that sometimes this is the only way the adversary can get to us and boy does he use the lie that we are not smart enough, capable enough, good enough or worthy enough to deserve all the blessings that our father in heaven has for us in this life.  And that what we have to give is just not good enough.  I have felt that so much in my lifetieme off and on and I assume that others too have felt the same way. 

Here are just a few quotes from the book:

"What certain others think of us may matter in some ways, but the opinions of others, no matter who they are, should not define us. Christ is the audience for whom we perform." 

"We are not told to understand.  We are told to remember.  That can only mean one thing: at some point we knew our worth in the sight of God."

"Everyone on this earth stuggles--even those who seem to have all the advantages.  It's part of God's plan.  It's how we come to the realization that we have to rely on Him instead of on our own strength.  And it brings us to a realization of His mericful plan.  Regardless of any disadvantage we face, our Heavenly Father can fill any void and can make up for all that we lack.  He knows us better than we know ourselves, and His perfect plan can catch us when we fall and redeem us when we sell ourselves short."  I love this one because I have come to know for myself that he can fill all the void in our lives...we just have to learn to give our life to Him.

"We cannot trust others to determine our worth.  We can't even trust ourselves to determine our worth.  We have to train ourselves to listen, believe, and act on the only voice that matters--Christ's voice."

" He says, "Come follow me." If we do that, we will end up where He is.  Think about it!..."

Anyway, it is a really, really good book and it's short.  But it's one that you will want to savor because it makes you feel and know how loved and how special you truly are.  I highly suggest it!