Monday, November 21, 2011

I miss my boyfriend

Okay, can I just say that I have had just about enough of not going on dates anymore with my boyfriend (My Man).  Since we have been building we have gone on maybe a couple of dates and that is it!  I miss my one on one time with My Man! I have really been feeling it lately.  It makes such a difference when we can spend that quality time together.  Otherwise we are just so busy that it starts feeling like I am living with a stranger or like this a business relationship.  My Man works so hard and I think he is really comfortable just working.  I honestly dont know how he does it.  I just don't have that kind of stamina.  I have to have my down time and I just get so burned out after working all day. But he comes home after working all day and then works the rest of the night on the house.  Life has been far from normal (whatever that is) for a good year now.  I'm not sure what normal is but I know it isn't this.  And I know that I need my dates now.  I guess so much has been unpredictable over the last year or so and our dates have not been a huge priority, but that has to change now.  It must because I miss my boyfriend! 

Friday, November 11, 2011

The long awaited job

Well, now that I have finally had a very successful first full week of my new job, I thought I would finally talk about it.  This looking for a job thing has really been a pain this time around.  However, I have to say that once again the Lord pulls me thru according to my faith.

I really thought that maybe that last job with the Social Network Marketing company was gonna be the job for me.  I put my trust in the Lord and figured that this is where he wanted me to land. However, I was not happy there but I was happy to have a job.  Luckily after 3 weeks they decided that they did not need me afterall and I was let go.  So, there I was on the hunt yet again.  I started to get a bit frustrated as I hate sending out my resume to companies and waiting to hear from them.  I firmly believe in Networking and getting myself out there in front of people.  But there I was searching the internet!  Yuck! 

I started to seriously consider looking into going back to school and even borrowing the money to try and land a job in the Healthcare industry.  There seemed to be a lot of jobs there.  However, that was becoming a discouraging pursuit since any way I looked at it it was gonna cost me a lot of mula!  But the thought of working in a Healthcare environment sounded like something I thought I could really enjoy.  So, out I went again to seek for employment and a way to get my foot in the door at some Healthcare facility. However, I kinda decided to put that thought on the back shelf of my mind.

The Temp Agency that I had found the last job at told me that they didn't have anything for me.  So, come Monday I was happy to be home again with my kids taking care of things at home.  On Wednesday I decided to follow up on a couple of leads out in Provo and Orem.  Those proved to be a waste of time too!  So, on my way back home to search the web again.....I decided I would stop by one more time at the Temp Agency and poke my head in and just remind them that I was still looking.  Well, once again they told me that they did not have anything at the present time.  Then the gal in the office said she might have something coming up and that I should stay in touch.  So, I went home.  About an hour later I recieved a call from her and she told me that she might actually have a job for me at a Chiropractic office.  That was very interesting to me as I had worked for a Chiropractor when Michael was just a baby and I really did enjoy that environment.  So, she sent my resume and set up an interview for the following day.  Well, needless to say, I got the job.  And....I LOVE IT!  It seems to be the perfect fit.  They hired me on permanently as the Office Supervisor. I am learning a lot and I feel right at home there.  Great people to work for, Great Doctor, Great customers!  I love working with the general public and talking to new people every day and serving them.  I feel so blessed to be working there.  They are compensating me well and it's a Healthcare facility!  Not what I originally thought it would be, but it is a familiar environment and it fits me perfectly..... It is both challenging and fullfilling!  I am hoping that this is a very long term relationship. So, wish me luck!

Friday, November 4, 2011

Reflections of a teenage girl..."Celestial friendships"

Sitting at the desk in the family room I could feel that my whole life was about to change.  I was 17 and it was 11:00 pm and I was so happy to get his call.  However, the happiness faded when on the other end of the phone I heard a very heart wrenched young man who obviously loved me...well, as much as an 18 year old boy knew how to love.  I knew without a doubt that he was the best thing that had ever happened to me.  Having grown up without the unconditional love of a good man in my life, this young man had fullfilled all my dreams of what it really was like to be loved so unconditonally by a man, a good man.   So, why was I about to let him go?  He was away at school and I was back at home.  He should have been having the time of his life, but he wasn't.  I smiled inside when I realized that the reason why was because of his feelings, even though we were so far away from eachother, for me.  Me...just Me!  Wow, how lucky, how blessed was I at such a young age to find someone so good, so true...true to Me? 

Deep down I knew I needed to let him go.  But, I knew that this might be the stupidest thing I would ever do.  But out of pure unconditional love for him, I knew I had to free his heart.  Deep, very deep down inside I knew that the timing was all wrong for this particular sweet relationship.  Had I not been so young and so hopeful, had i known all the heartache I had still yet to endure, I probably would not have done it.  But, by this time in my life I had been blessed with a conviction, which he had helped to confirm in me.  A conviction that there was something more, a conviction that I was worth all the blessings that I desired.  And I knew my time would come and I would once again meet someone else. Someone just as wonderful. Someone just as good.  Someone just as worthy as he was of my love.  However, this was faith.  The kind of faith that caused you to do crazy things. The kind I then called "blind".  Blind because I could not not see, I did not know for certain.  Those few words in my blessing instilled that faith in my young heart and I mustered up the courage to tell him.  To tell him that it was okay.  That he was free.  That this sweet union of ours was not to last past this time anyway.  I took a deep breath and I said it. 

I wanted to take it back as soon as the words left my lips.  I wanted to rewind and take it all back.  But I knew what I had done was right and it tore at my heart for a very long time.  Those words also tore at his as he tried to choke back obvious tears.  Why?  Why? Why, did I do it.  Why would I let go of something so good, on purpose? 

The years that followed proved to be difficult with many ups and downs in the "Love" department yet, somehow it kept me going.  To do something so difficult, so courageous at such a young age, somehow gave me the strength to not give up.  It was like a rollercoaster ride.  My twists and turns and ups and downs of faith.  And as often as I had let go of that faith, I would come back to it again.  And then after 18 years of agony, doubts from time to time, and moments of regret...I finally met Him!

He was absolutely perfect!  Perfect for me.  He came in to my life and I once again felt like the luckiest girl in the world.  But this was different.  It was more, it was better in so many ways and on so many levels.  I cried for days.  Literally, to and from work.  Truthfully, what did I do to deserve such a wonderful man?  Why did I deserve to have such unconditonal love and devotion in my life?  Afterall I had faltered from time to time, I wavered here and there.  There were times I wanted to give up, for good. Mom would always say, "you just can't ever give up, because you never know what's right around the corner"...and so I didn't.  And now after 18 years, her statement proved to be TRUE. 

Fast forward now 23 years ahead. 3 children, and many many trials later. I am very aware of  the many ups and downs that have played a significant part of the 48 years I have been alive. And oh so many blessings, more than I ever thought possible. Now with "Him" at my side and a wonderful family of good, valiant, righteous beautiful boys, I sit in awe.   And I realize that there were some very tender and significant moments and choices I made in my life that have played a very important role in where I am today.  And some people will never be forgotten and are appreciated now more than ever.  Celestial friendships.....that's what I call them. 

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Faith - Value Experience #2

Discover the principles of faith taught by the mothers of Helaman’s stripling warriors. Read Alma 56:45–48 and 57:21. Review what “The Family: A Proclamation to the World” (see page 101) says about a mother’s role. With a mother, grandmother, or leader, discuss the qualities a woman needs in order to teach children to have faith and to base their decisions on gospel truths. How can these principles help you in your life today and help you prepare to be a faithful woman, wife, and mother? Record your thoughts and feelings in your journal.

So, I've been working on experience #1 in Faith these past couple of weeks. So, now I am working on the second experience in faith.  Just thought I would share what I am reading and studying about.