Okay, so I'm usually pretty upbeat. I try to keep my blog that way. However, lets be realistic. Sometimes you just cant hold it together anymore and you feel yourself unraveling and on the verg of falling apart. Well, if you don't, then I guess it's just me....but it's the real ME!
I've been keeping it together pretty well up until this point. Mike has been out of work again since just before Christmas. I guess it was all new and I still felt pretty strong. But Christmas has come and gone and life goes on right? Well, then this month hit. Yes, February. February 19 is Michael's birthday. February 27 is My Man's birthday and March 2 is Bryce's birthday. And when this time of year comes I want to celebrate and let my family know just how much I love them. But, with Mike out of work we are on such a strict budget that we cant do a whole lot. And so I feel frustrated, strapped, stifled, and out of control. I know you are just waiting for the positive side of all of this to come out and well, so am I because right now I dont feel a whole lot of hope. In fact I feel like just breaking down, but like I said before it takes a lot for me to cry and I can feel it right at the surface of my throat, but it wont come out. So, here I sit feeling all of these feelings and no way to express them. I sit and pay the bills and I want to cry, but again, nothing comes out.
So, instead I come here to this blog to hopefully get some relief...and so far I dont feel any better.
I've been keeping it together pretty well up until this point. Mike has been out of work again since just before Christmas. I guess it was all new and I still felt pretty strong. But Christmas has come and gone and life goes on right? Well, then this month hit. Yes, February. February 19 is Michael's birthday. February 27 is My Man's birthday and March 2 is Bryce's birthday. And when this time of year comes I want to celebrate and let my family know just how much I love them. But, with Mike out of work we are on such a strict budget that we cant do a whole lot. And so I feel frustrated, strapped, stifled, and out of control. I know you are just waiting for the positive side of all of this to come out and well, so am I because right now I dont feel a whole lot of hope. In fact I feel like just breaking down, but like I said before it takes a lot for me to cry and I can feel it right at the surface of my throat, but it wont come out. So, here I sit feeling all of these feelings and no way to express them. I sit and pay the bills and I want to cry, but again, nothing comes out.
So, instead I come here to this blog to hopefully get some relief...and so far I dont feel any better.
Its not whining its called "life can be really hard sometimes and it stinks" we all feel that now and then..Sometimes I want to yell "what else do I need to learn here" but then I count my blessings and know I wouldn't trade my problems for anyone else's in the world..sometimes I have to take it a moment at a time, and try really hard to not take on the world..your doing great!! good for you for having a job you love, I would love to find the perfect job for me..Hang in there but don't hang yourself :) Huge Hugs!!
ReplyDelete