Sunday, June 1, 2014

3 Weeks Notice

     I've been thinking so much about the time I spend at work these days.  I am here roughly 40 hours a week.  Not to mention the time to prepare and the stress I endure on any given day.  My job has been a blessing in a lot of ways.  It seemed to fall into my lap at the perfect time.  I have been treated well and it has been a pleasure working with the many patients that I have met through my job!  However, the longer I am here the stronger I have learned and have developed the person that I am.  And I have come to see somethings that no longer fit how I want to spend my time on a daily basis.  

    Then a couple of months ago Mike and I received callings to be ward missionaries.  This greatly pleased me and I was excited to serve in this calling.  However, I have found it increasingly difficult to serve the time and hours that the calling should require due to the amount of hours that I work.  So, this has promoted much contemplation and some uneasiness about whether I should continue in this job or try to find something more suitable for who I am and what my lifestyle should be.  Well, one thing has led to another over the past several weeks and I finally found myself in a state a couple of Friday's ago after work, where I just felt so strongly that I should quit.  There were additional reasons that this feeling came over me and I struggled somewhat to just call it quits.  But deep inside was a nagging feeling that this is exactly what I was supposed to do.  I went home that weekend and  talked it over with my family and I prayed about it and took it with me on Sunday as I attended my church meetings. Even during our Sunday school lesson as we talked about faith I could hear the spirit whisper to me that I needed to exercise mine. It was interesting how the teacher was comparing the experience Moses had with the experience Joshua had of the parting of the red sea to Joshua having to go "into" the water before the way was made by the Lord for his people to cross.  This was likened to having the kind of faith that follows the spirit even though we may not see the end from the beginning.  Even if we have to walk into a dark place before we recieve sight!  This really made me contemplate on following the spirit in my situation.  I found myself thinking "But I have a missionary out!  We need the money!  What am I gonna do?" But still the feeling that I should quit my job and I needed to do it now while things are still pretty good, came to my mind.  

    So, on Monday May 19th I woke up with a pit in my stomach and a letter ready for me to hand to my boss.  I had no appetite and I didn't sleep but maybe an hour the night before.  So, I left for work.  When I got to work I looked at the schedule and found an open spot to hand my boss the letter.  It was within the first hour of the day and I figured if something stopped me I wouldn't do it.  But nothing stopped me and I found myself handing the letter to my boss.  He opened it and read it and then closed it and asked why.  I had a million reasons why. But what I had finally decided to tell him after tossing and turning all night, was that I needed a change and that I didn't want to work so many hours anymore. I also said that I wanted to get a job closer to home.  It was perfect and actually true considering the reasons I ever started thinking about quitting in the first place. 

     After I put in my 3 weeks notice I proceeded to get a headache. And that headache led to a terrible day for me.  I have to admit that I wondered if I had done the right thing since I felt so crappy!  I went home that night and ate dinner, sat down to watch TV and then I went to bed early.  I woke up in the middle of the night and felt a bit heavy hearted.  Mike was out of town working and Bryce and I had not prayed or anything before going to bed.  I felt strange.  But in the morning when I woke up, I felt an incredible feeling of freedom and vigor!  I knew that I had done the right thing!  And I felt so empowered by this new position I had put myself in.  My life was about to discover a new adventure! I had walked into the dark and now, after following the spirit, the Lord was parting the way for me to go on and do what He wants me to do.

     So, here I sit on the eve of my last week of work.  It's Sunday and I have had a very nice relaxing weekend with my family.  I feel invigorated by the new opportunity I have to serve my family, and my Heavenly Father.  I have loved my job and especially the people I have met through it.  I have learned to love myself more for who I am and what I have been able to accomplish there.  I also know that I am ready to embark on a challenging but rewarding time in my life.  I will own it.  I will embrace it and I will tackle it with faith.    


1 comment:

  1. Good for you..Fear can keep us stagnate and faith moves us forward..proud of you!!