Feeling again

The anticipation had left me numb.  I had cried off and on over the past few weeks as I thought about his return.  But at this point, standing in the airport, I no longer knew what to feel.  Truthfully, I had gotten used to him being away. " The ambilical cord had been cut" (as he put it) and he no longer needed me to give him constant advice and encouragement.  He had learned to get along well without me now.  On top of that, he seemed as though he was happier than he had ever been.  All this was okay however, since he was on a his mission and that is the way it was supposed to be.....right?  So, after a few months of adjusting to this new way of life, I had finally gotten used to our lives being separate.  So, what was I supposed to expect now after 2 very long years?  Mike had regretably found out the day before that his boss was going out of town and he would have to hold down the job the next day, the day Michael would be returning.  I was tempted to be very angry, however, I finally came to the conclusion that Mike was just as disappointed as I was and we were lucky that he had a job. But this was it, the day we all had waited for.  The moment of truth.  The truth about what our lives would be like with him in it again.

So, there we were, my little family, a group of extended family members from both sides, along with 4 other families waiting the arrival of our missionaries.  It seems that we waited forever and I figured if I knew my son, he would be making us wait until the very end.  Grandma Rose finally ran over to me and said, "I see him, he's coming!"  I was afraid to look.  I turned my back to the on coming passengers for a minute, nervous about how i would react.  Finally, everyone around me started to scream and I saw Mom reach up and grab her grandson.  Someone had led me in the wrong direction and gave Michael a short cut thru to the crowd.  As I re-routed my way thru the crowd and approached the hugging couple, I started to feel.  The reality of his return was tangable now.  I covered my face and began to sob.  As he approached me with "Hi Mum", I grabbed him and held him closer and tighter than I ever had before.  With my face buried into his shoulder, I let go.  I sobbed uncontrollably and the deeper my head was buried the harder I cried.  I finally caught myself as I realized that my sobs were so loud that people were probably wondering what was wrong with this crazy woman.  I then tried to get it together and I took a deep breath and apologized to my new son for losing it.  He was crying too now as we locked eyes........ I could feel again.